My poetry

I just won a tie for third place, a woman who is the member of my poetry association I belong to, placed a competition before us, and I entered it. She required only the poem in which we were to write, relate to the picture she had up, of a blue rose. So, this is what I came up with, quickly, for I was almost not going to make the deadline :) I guess it went well though anyways! Please tell me what, if anything, you think or feel when you read it!!

The Blue Rose
secretly grows
upon a Hill of Heathers
where?
seldom do know

Songs speak of its
existence
but few have lived to see
its rich blood blue petals
smells of sweet ginger and honey

The legend has it
the blue rose can cure
a thousand different ailments
although, I am not
sure

My Grandmother told me
if you eat three petals
before you sleep
the disease which
infects, out of you
it will seep

Not many have heard
the powers of the
blue rose
for it secretly grows
where seldom
do know

Mall Of America Promotions

I was offered a job to be a "model" for this gig at the Biggest Mall in the Country, in my state, Minnesota, thank- you! lol. It was for the "Zhu-Zhu" pet, and I did not know what the hell it was but it was paying $16 an hour, so I was on board. For the last five or so month my poor 98' Honda Accord has been cutting off, anywhere and everywhere incovenient and unsafe to me, whenever it wanted, while I was driving. So, it was pertinent that I get money somehow to pay to get that fixed, because that situation, is not a fun one to be in. So, this gig was ten hours a day on Friday and eight and a half on Saturday so I was like "yep" and accepted it on my gig planner. When I arrived we were given shirts that said "Hamster Handler" on the backs, and yes we got to keep them! yey, no, not really. There was plenty of easy little jobs to do, I helped the kids answer some questions on a lil' computer moduel so they could tell what hamster they were most like, and then take a picture with their heads as a hamster, kinda creepy fun, but people love free shit. The Zhu-Zhu pet in itself, was the little robot hamster covered in fur, that would movie itself forward and back through plastic mazes and in cars and stuff on a table or floor, when you pressed the button on the back. It was neat, but not as neat as you would think for it being 2010 and how interested everyone was into these things. Our biggest thing was to make sure no kids, most likely, parents, didn't steal off with one of the eight hamsters on the four tables we were handling. I felt like a black Jack dealers watch dog, just pacing around, watching the table, the hands, little and big. Makes me laugh, the other people working just as miserable as I was. One guy actully said to me, " I just bought my daughter one, do we come here to train them" oh my gosh funny. I was like, "they take batteries and thats pretty much all there is to it, and I wouldn't play with it here because some kid may take it and play with it and then she may be sad". People are so funny sometimes. It was a neat set up though, these four people went all around the country promoting these things, which was crazy to hear about. They even had a dance they had to do and thank God we were not paid to do it, it was so embarressing, the song went "Hey Hamster Homies" haha. It was terrifying, and in the Mall of America, or MOA as we call it here to the natives, there is like 5 floors, so people can just stop and watch down and you, from all angles, for all hours of the day, and they did. I was so sick of kids by the end of the day, we had a half hour break each, during ten and eight hour shift days, and that was it! Understaffed and underappreciated all we went through for a free event to the visitors. It was interesting to say the least, I got so sick of stickers, by the end of the day I was simply sticking them on everyone I saw around me, we went through sheets of them. As well, a toad was found, just hopping in my area, so I brought him to the main "hype" man and he made an announcement that, "if anyone here lost a toad, to come see him" lol.

Mall Of America Promotions

I was offered a job to be a "model" for this gig at the Biggest Mall in the Country, in my state, Minnesota, thank- you! lol. It was for the "Zhu-Zhu" pet, and I did not know what the hell it was but it was paying $16 an hour, so I was on board. For the last five or so month my poor 98' Honda Accord has been cutting off, anywhere and everywhere inconvenient and unsafe to me, whenever it wanted, while I was driving. So, it was pertinent that I get money somehow to pay to get that fixed, because that situation, is not a fun one to be in. So, this gig was ten hours a day on Friday and eight and a half on Saturday so I was like "yep" and accepted it on my gig planner. When I arrived we were given shirts that said "Hamster Handler" on the backs, and yes we got to keep them! yey, no, not really. There was plenty of easy little jobs to do, I helped the kids answer some questions on a lil' computer module so they could tell what hamster they were most like, and then take a picture with their heads as a hamster, kinda creepy fun, but people love free shit. The Zhu-Zhu pet in itself, was the little robot hamster covered in fur, that would movie itself forward and back through plastic mazes and in cars and stuff on a table or floor, when you pressed the button on the back. It was neat, but not as neat as you would think for it being 2010 and how interested everyone was into these things. Our biggest thing was to make sure no kids, most likely, parents, didn't steal off with one of the eight hamsters on the four tables we were handling. I felt like a black Jack dealers watch dog, just pacing around, watching the table, the hands, little and big. Makes me laugh, the other people working just as miserable as I was. One guy actually said to me, " I just bought my daughter one, do we come here to train them" oh my gosh funny. I was like, "they take batteries and that's pretty much all there is to it, and I wouldn't play with it here because some kid may take it and play with it and then she may be sad". People are so funny sometimes. It was a neat set up though, these four people went all around the country promoting these things, which was crazy to hear about. They even had a dance they had to do and thank God we were not paid to do it, it was so embarrassing, the song went "Hey Hamster Homies" haha. It was terrifying, and in the Mall of America, or MOA as we call it here to the natives, there is like 5 floors, so people can just stop and watch down and you, from all angles, for all hours of the day, and they did. I was so sick of kids by the end of the day, we had a half hour break each, during ten and eight hour shift days, and that was it! Understaffed and under appreciated all we went through for a free event to the visitors. It was interesting to say the least, I got so sick of stickers, by the end of the day I was simply sticking them on everyone I saw around me, we went through sheets of them. As well, a toad was found, just hopping in my area, so I brought him to the main "hype" man and he made an announcement that, "if anyone here lost a toad, to come see him" lol.

Nannying 2

She then proceeds to sip out of it, grabs her mothers small vase and its stand it sits upon, and moves around the furniture to make a little throne/station for herself. She grabs some silver wrapped Hershey kisses from the bowl on the table and places them in a wine glass for herself. She then grabs the large peacock feathers from her dads desk and places them in a vase next to her, creating her little lair. She then describes different spells she knows, "as a dark fairy" she explains, and how the one she is working on right now involves 5 drops of human "blood cells" haha, and a squirrels heart, and a puppy dogs nose and some cat fur. She says, people are on the way "mortals" to kill us at the stake by burning us to ashes. Extreme imaginations are great people: sidenote. As she munches on a Hershey kiss and drinks her "witch wine" she asks me to grab the phone, "vase and display dish" and the book "in German" of Spells, "Native American something or other". She tells me to dial the, "Burmez house" and warn them of the humans coming. So I place the dish to my ear after pressing fake buttons upon the side of the vase, and talk into the vase where the flowers may go. "Hello, is this the Burmez house?", I say, "Yes, this is the queen dark fairy and her dark fairy accomplice and we want you to know you have to get out of there because people are after you to burn you alive", "The queen says you need to take off on your brooms and go to...." I look at her sitting in her throne, "Nevada" she Cooley replies, haha. "Nevada" I tell nobody into the vase, and she smiles. "They want to know what your address is to send you some Unicorn blood for helping them", I tell her. She softly replies, "I am in no need for unicorn blood, I would much rather have some fairy dust" haha. "Queen would rather have fairy dust if you have it" I say to our friends, "they want to know if you want the pink or yellow kind", I ask her. "The rainbow please" she answers, and I reply such demands over our vase phone to them. Then she brings me a piece of paper and dabs the bottom of one of the peacock fathers into the "witch wine" and says to me, "I need to practice my spell writing" and hands me the tools to do so. This girl is too much, but it's great, more to come...

Nannying

I have had nannying as a hustle since I can remember, for a young girl growing up it starts as "babysitting" and when you begin to drive, its called nannying, becuase you turn into a shuttle for children. I love kids, I have two younger sisters growing up and always felt as a second mom to them, the feeling of being a leader and role model was always there for me since birth. Children are so imaginative and make you rember what it is to be young at heart. Right now I nanny two girls, ages 8 and eleven, and they really have old souls. They are very fun to nanny for they like to be creative, make crafts and play pretend, very good pretend. The eight year old randomly while I watch them, will say something like, "I'm going to go be a lawyer in court". She will then go upstairs and dress in a "formal" outfit, complete with her moms short heeled shoes, come back down and begin. I actually watched as she placed a butter knife from the kitchen drawer and placed in a freezer size ziplock bag, and write "murder knif" on it with a marker, in little kid handwriting. She then actually had a little judge and jury activity she got into, all "my father murdered my mother with the knife, and I found it near the bushes with blood trails!" lol. She actually acts like I am not there, and she is in her whole nother' world, unless she involves me in it randomly, I watch as if its a play. This actually went down today as I watched them from 7 am- 5:30 pm. The older one went upstairs to read, lol, when do you hear that now a days? really... I love it. So the younger one walks over and places a rubber bouncy ball, the ones you can get anywhere even at a grocery store, on her mothers decorative vase. She then closes her eyes and begins to move her hands around it, all Miss Cleo like, and I watch her begin her little world. She then announces how she needs to get her "fortune telling outfit on" and goes upstairs". She comes back down and she has on a silvery dressup like halloween dress, tied at the waist, her bat wings, and she has drawn brown makeup around her eyes, with a cross on her forehead. "This is great", I think, for I too was a young girl who would get into my imagination and make up little world adventures too. She then told me she saw me going somewhere in life where I never saw my family again, but I was rich and had a lot of friends", and I was thinking, "hell yeah, this girl is onto something". She then said she was a magic witch and people were after her "mortals" she later refered lol, and she needed to call her people. So, I was sucked in, and I put on one of her sheaths of cloth and wrapped in into a dress and grabbed a pair of wings, because, why the hell not! I'm getting paid for this ?! lol yes! She brings out her mothers neat looking blue stained glass vase and fills in with water, saying it was our "witch wine".

My little sister Sarah

My little sister Sarah has seen a lot of struggles in her lifetime, to find herself and where she fits in, in this crazy world. I have so much respect for her it brings tears to my eyes, for I have seen her through some rough patches and now see her in her glory and I am so very proud of who she has become. I was the eldest, but as a preemie I was always the smallest. Sarah is by far the tallest and most muscular person in our family. She had a great talent for track in middle school and when in High School, she got rheumatoid arthritis so her joints started to hurt, and she could not participate any more. We really thought that sports, with her natural build and agility, could allow her to stand out in a positive manner. In real life Sarah has dealt with speech impediments, and being teased at school, being made fun of for being in special classes at school or needing more help than others. She deals with ADHD and has been medicated since I can remember, because when she is off of it, watch out naw! When we were smaller, she used to, as the baby mind you, pull my sister Emily and mines ponytails when sitting on top of bar stools in our kitchen. Sending us to the ground and chasing her shorty after, for any attention was good attention to Sarah growing up and not knowing how to channel her feelings and urges. She sits now in the other room, for we are all home for a family get together this weekend, and the only sister of us three is Em, at home now, but she lives her full time. Sarah lives in Hastings, the middle of nowheresville, with her transgender boyfriend/girlfriend, I am not sure. She looks like a petite girl in face and frame, with short hair and grown out armpit hair, I'm just going to put that out there. She is really nice in person, for I have met him/her, and she helped me fix my Honda when no other grown man could that I asked, so props to he/she!! I guess she, sorry he takes Testosterone and goes to "T-meetings" every so often. Sarah always gets angry with me when I use the term her, "ask her if she knows about subs" and she will go nutso on you. I cannot help it, and I am sorry! but damn she has a "female part" which ever word you like to use, so what shame on me? no one gave me a rule book on when your little sister decides to go for females and they begin the process of being a male? I am so out of my league, I love her and respect her and she deserves love, from whomever makes her happy, but this kinda takes the cake. If anyone else knows anything about this or wants to talk about it, I am an open book. I wish everyone peace and happiness and love, straight, transgender, male, female, goodnight, I am too tired for all dis...

Saturday Night Sadness

Here I sit on Sat night a very fun loving, energetic woman who wants to find adventure with each day and tries to make the best of every situation. Tonight I cannot make the best out of my experience though. I go to meet up with a new friend downtown, they act as if they have all the time in the world for mew and cannot wait to hang out and see how our personalities click. So I get in the shower, get dressed, and drive halfway to meet them, ready to make a good impression, as all firsts are important. I wait and wait, and text and call. This "new friend" is not answering, and when they finally do, all I hear is sorry ass excuses. "Oh, my phone is dying and I forgot my charger, I had to turn around and make some money real quick with something I had to drop off" blah blah blah. When we finally meet up, its awkward to actually meet the person that just made me wait like a little kid for the late school bus. He has no real shame, and I feel like a complete chore, not a good feeling at all for anyone. I feel as if my time is important, and so are others time as well. I would never leave someone waiting, that is just not my stilo "style", and I HATE when I have to deal with it! I am sure there are many who have been in similar situations, and if not, its pry your ass that is doing it to other human beings, so SHAME ON YOU! you should be tied to a tree and beaten with a wet noodle, it is not nice! So, we go to grab a quick bite for they have some "errands to run" and want to hang out later after they do them. I decide to forgive and forget and actually stay in the area to try and give this friend another shot, to really show up and act like I am worth the time given. I wait, and I wait. Text messages are exchanged, time flies by, short convos here and there, talking like "I'm on the way just getting some gas", "my phones acting up and I didn't get your last text", all types of fuckery. I waited for 4 hours hoping that something better would come my way, listening to Lauren Hill, waiting for her to take my anxiety away with her angelic guitar riffs and scratchy unique notes she hits oh so well. It starts to rain, I watch other couples hand and hand, laughing and walking to the bars, wishing I could slip in silently behind them and start laughing to pretend I actually have friends who follow through, and don't leave me hanging. It is the feeling of High School all over again. being left out of the plans or not invited to the party, because others are self-centered or jealous of all I have going on. I pray for God to send me some good individuals of which I can count on and call "my peeps". It is so hard to find honest to goodness good friends today! For those who have them, please don't take them for granted. If you do, please send them to me, I could use one about now :(